I Love Technology But Technology Hates Me

I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE!!!  My technological advances are failing me and it's F-ing up my mood! People, stay far away from me because my tolerance level is low, which means that any amount of stupidity from you might get you cussed out!

Here are the issues (deep breathe); my phone is F-ing slow, my netbook is F-ing slow, my laptop is thinking about trying to start being slow, my cable box is F-ing slow, my tablet randomly decides to freeze so that it needs restarted, my camera is just super old and needs upgraded, both of my alarm clock radios make a weird robotic sound every so often, and my precious beautiful 47 inch TV has a white line going across the top of the screen.

Can you feel my RAAAAGGGEEEE????????

Why you gotta do me like that electronics?  Why?  I am trying to stay calm, I realize that I may be part of the problem because I probably am using too much memory, but WTF, why give me memory if you ain't gonna work right when I use the memory?

My phone is my main cause of stress.  It will be the first to get thrown across the room.  This thing has caused me problems since day 1.  I should have paid more attention to the warning signs, and got rid of it immediately instead of giving it chance after chance to get better.  I have a Motorola Droid Razr (the original), and yes it was the best phone 2 years ago, but I got a dud!!!  Thank god my contract is almost up because I CAN NOT WAIT to get a Samsung Galaxy Note 3 or Samsung Galaxy S5 (no an Iphone is not an option, I'd rather keep what I got then go there).  I got my eye on you Samsung and I will make you mine, COUNT ON IT!

I don't know what my phone's problem is but all I know is when it gets in a dgaf mood, it takes about 20 whole minutes to do any one thing on it:

I press to skip to the next song, wait wait wait, now skip.  Oh thanks phone, you took so long that the song is now over and the next song is already playing.  WTF but you just skipped this song, which is what I wanted to hear!  RAGE!

I press to make a note to self so I don't forget, wait wait wait, hey the note finally popped up!  Now what did I want to remind myself?  The phone took so long that I forgot what I wanted to remember while waiting for the note app to pop up.  RAGE!

I press to wake my phone from sleeping, wait wait wait, well now the screen took so long to unlock that the phone went back to sleep again.  RAGE!

I press to answer a call that's coming in, wait wait wait, oh finally it answers, too late, caller already hung up. RAGE!

I press to quickly take a video of a giant monster that suddenly came out of the river, wait wait wait, too late, the monster ate a person and went back underwater before I could get video evidence.  Suzy just got eaten! RAGE!

I can't deal with the slow!  It's giving me a severe case of RAGE!  Ain't nobody got time for that!  I been trying to be cool with my phone and find ways to like it more.  But even with this cute case looking back at me like this

I can't.  Stitch, your cute ain't cutting it, you gonna go flying out the window along with this piece of S*** PHONE!!

And this netbook will be following close behind you.

Thank goodness it's almost Black Friday!  This holiday season and in the next few months I am on the prowl for deals on a phone, nettablet, and camera.  I am so over the stress of slow technology.  My electronics don't love me anymore and our relationship is now toxic, so they're getting dumped and replaced!

Bye Bitches!!!