Tuesday, November 12, 2013

The Walking Dead Season 4 Episodes 1 & 2: I Call Horse Manure!




The Walking Dead on AMC is literally my favorite show.  I actually have a lot of favorite shows, but due to my obsession with horror and, more specifically, zombies I can truly say that if I had to pick one of my favorite shows as my #1 favorite show, it'd be The Walking Dead (twd).  For those who don't know about it, twd is a super popular TV series about a group of people trying to survive in a world that's been taken over by zombies.  It originated as a comic book series, so there's comic book nerds as well as regular TV viewers who love the show.  It is so popular that it is on its 4th season and was recently confirmed that they have been renewed for a 5th which is CRAE CRAE considering nowadays shows get cancelled after only 1 episode (Quarterlife?). 

Hey, the girl from Grimm and the guy from Greek were in Quarterlife! Who knew?
But yes, I heart The Walking Dead!

That being said, not even my favorites are exempt from being called out for their malarkey.  I'm noticing way too much nonsense within this season of twd and I can't take it anymore! 

Understand, these are just some stand out points of the episodes, this isn't a full show recap.  For an extremely detailed recap check out Entertainment Weekly's site (episode 1, episode 2).

***SPOILERS BELOW***

Since they are from a month ago and my memory is bad, I'll join the first two episodes in this rant.  Episode 1 and 2 weren't the most ridiculous episodes this season, but they did have their moments of stupidity.   Here are some stand outs (in random order):

Let me just call attention to what is a big theme of this season, zombies are congregating to push down the prison fence.  Someone had the genius idea of trying to push the fence back into place while 100s of zombies are trying to knock it down.  Great idea!  100s of zombies have pushed the fence in to a 45 degree angle so that it's almost caving in, but have no fears!  Let's just grab 5 people on the inside and push back against the 100s of zombies, because that's how fences are restored to their rightful place.  You have GOT to be flipflopping kidding me!  Now if this was realistic, they'd have all 5 been smooshed by that fence because 100s of zombies pushing against it is much stronger than 5 people trying to push back. 



And by the way, why in the zombie world are 100s of zombies suddenly all at once deciding that they need to attack this fence?  I realize that some of them know there are yummy people inside the fence, but what, are they sending carrier pigeons to alert any nearby zombies to come this way for a chance at food?  These zombies are doing way too much pack traveling for them to not be able to think or communicate.  I think we are having a Land of the Dead situation where zombies are learning how think and start organized crime sprees!  The group should be far more concerned about this sudden zombie gathering, than they seem to be.  Next they'll start using weapons too.
Land of the Dead zombie leader was one smart zombie.

On the other hand, why in the world did the people within the gates let the zombie collection get that bad!?  They even brought in a bunch of new people, so they definitely have enough man power to be taking shifts and spearing all zombies within reach.  What are they doing all day?  I guess they're all sitting around playing patty cake and having story time, too busy to pay attention to the issue at hand, ZOMBIES TAKING OVER THE WORLD!!! 

Even the people in the watch tower ain't keeping no type of guard, they just made that their love den, because a world full of zombies is the perfect world to get pregnant and have babies in.  And yes Glenn, I'm calling your foolishness out even though you are my favorite and have been since way back when you were more geeky/scardycat than tough/hardcore.  OMG the foolishness!  I hope you are at least using birth control, unless you are trying to help repopulate the world.

On the supply run I get to find out why Bob never seemed trustworthy to me.  We now learn that his real name is "Bob the alcoholic".  Why are we so focused on alcohol in a time of need Bob?  Also, since you picked up the bottle, JUST TAKE THE DARN THING!!  It's free!  Take it and give it away (if you want to stay on the wagon), no need to put it exactly back where it belongs.  But that's exactly what he did, and now the whole case breaks and so does all the bottles of alcohol thanks to Bob the genius. 

Now all the rooftop zombies want to walk towards the commotion,again thanks Bob.  Did anyone else think the zombies were walking towards a way into the store?  I was really going to be done if these zombies knew how to enter and exit the store from the roof.  But no, they just were randomly walking towards sound.  No entryway was needed though because by some miraculous coincidence a zombie fell through the roof into the store where the supply hunters are!  Then, every zombie starts falling through the roof where they stand.  Zombie bombs are landing inside the store!  I just can't understand why, if the zombies were walking around on the roof for who knows how long, why is this exact point in time when the roof starts caving in?  And it's not just caving in in the weakest spot (which one would think is the spot holding the weight of an entire downed helicopter) it's evidently just suddenly too weak a roof to hold any amount of weight any longer.  No matter where a zombie is standing, it suddenly is just falling through the roof into the store. 

It's raining zombies and Bob the idiot is trapped under his beloved alcohol and the shelf that was holding it all.  Bob is a sitting duck and clearly isn't much of a fighter because he's basically just shooing the zombies away.  He's shooing zombies away (not killing them) while screaming for help (which is attracting more zombies).  Oh Bob, say no to alcohol and yes to common sense.

Anyways, he finally gets saved, but a young new group member gets bit.  I'm sorry but it served him right for not paying enough attention.  What part of zombie apocalypse don't these people understand?  You don't let you're guard down ever, ESPECIALLY in unfamiliar territory where you KNOW that zombies are around.  He probably thought he was too good to use a suit of armor like my man Glenn was wearing.  He probably made fun of Glenn for becoming a marshmallow man in his zombie protective garb.  Bet he wish he had Glenn's zombie armor now.

By the way, where are the supply runs that involve getting big equipment?  Perhaps sheet metal or concrete that can be used to build a better stronger wall around the prison.  Again, this stuff is free and there aren't many people left in the world to have taken all of the supply already.  How about more spike traps around the entire prison ala Morgan Jones? Why aren't they finding a big U-Haul truck they can use and a home depot so they can be building useful things.  Why don't they have a zombie mobile by now?  It's been years right?  It only took the people in Dawn of the Dead a few months to create a zombie mobile.
Most important thing in a zombie Apocalypse.
Nope, story time is all this group needs.  Yeah, story time should involve reading books about making things like a zombie mobile, or first aid and other medical care.  They actually have doctors and mechanics, they could be doing so much more valuable things with their free time instead of pretending to be on vacation, finding girlfriends, and eating bonbons.

These people are really in denial mode because no one locks their prison cell (room) in  zombie land? Really?  You can sleep soundly?  Really?  Because in a zombie world I'd be so on edge that any slight hint of someone moaning or breathing at all would wake me up.  And I'd be sure to at least put a noisy barrier in my doorway that would alert me to any zombie that tried to shuffle past it.  But obviously the prison survivors aren't as paranoid as I am.  The one now known as Zombie Harry Potter just walks right in and starts eating people.  The boy got sick and died overnight, no on even noticed, and now he's a zombie!  I guess they don't do nightly head counts either.  Am I the only one who feels like these precautions and more should have become the new normal in a zombie infested world?!

So Zombie Potter starts eating people, and still the noise doesn't wake anyone up.  It's not until there are like an additional 3 new zombies and all Hades breaks lose that people realize there is a problem!  Call me cruel, but at least this all went down in the new comers' area, not where "my people" are.  Although I don't think my people would be so easily taken over by zombies because my people know how to fight back.  The new people just like sitting pretty or trying to hide from zombies.  Why on earth did they take in such useless people anyway?  Carol is right, they definitely need to be teaching EVERYBODY how to kill zombies because let's face it, sometimes you just gotta.  While they were living nicely with no incidents, they should have been training their people.  Not only to be strong against zombies, but hello, mad governor on the loose!!!  They couldn't have forgotten about him because Michone still goes out hunting for him!  They should all want to prepare to fight against him.  Ugh, get it together people!

Sheriff Farmer Rick, you're still awesome even with all your many types of crazy.  No guns in a zombie world?  Unrealistic unless death is your goal.

Oh, and a final tip:  if you come across anyone that looks like a zombie although they are talking like a human, ditch them immediately and don't look back!  Once you let yourself become a living zombie, you should be treated as such... That witch was batpoop crae crae!  Lesson learned Rick.


If I missed anything that you found interesting or ridiculous from these episodes, let me know in the comments.

All my favorites in one photo!


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